Wednesday, November 21, 2012

my lousy high school day

I wasn't going to write about this, because it's pretty humiliating and some people will not want to hear about the very slim chance there was a teeny tiny scratch on the car...but anyways...

so today is the day before thanksgiving, what was supposed to be an awesome day. Just get through the work day and four day weekend. Yesterday was a lovely catered Thanksgiving lunch by the company, of which I took home the most food.

So then here's how my day starts...

I forget to put on deodorant, well it still could be ok because hopefully I won't sweat that much.

And then it just gets better.

So what could be more high school than high school than getting a zit and forgetting to put on deodorant?

How about backing up into a curb in the parking lot on my way home?

And then when the car hits the curb, I put it into drive which was actually Neutral  which of course means that the car is not going anywhere, so then I think I've put it straight up on the curb and it's not moving and how the hell do you get a car off a curb if its not moving?

well luckily I finally figure out what an idiot I was being and put it into drive, and drove home without much incident and poured myself a nice tall glass of wine and then a margarita to top it off.
Because I'm certainly not in freaking high school anymore (despite having all kinds of dreams about that constantly) and I'm an adult dammit. Bad days will happen I guess. I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

Unless my face totally breaks out, I run out of deodorant, I crash the car into my own mailbox all before leaving to have dinner with my fiancee's family.


Happy Freaking Thanksgiving.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I really enjoy hanging out with my fiancee

Sometimes he can be really super nice.  Like for old ladies that take up space on the sidewalk with all their cumbersome used shopping bags full of farmer's market stuff that gets stuck to branches of bushes.

And some times it's surprising when he isn't. Like when we're walking the aisles of Target and come upon a trail of what appears to be chocolate milk or coffee drops leading mysteriously off in the distance and ending underneath the cart of a lovely looking woman browsing bathroom towels.

But there's always a reason.

Monday, September 24, 2012

i love answering questions

    I'm not sure about the rest of it, but I love answering questions. And becca gave me 11 of them. So for anyone interested.

    My 11 questions:
    what are you currently reading or would like to read?

    The Frozen Rabbi by Steve Stern
    update status
    started on September 22, 2012
    White Jazz by James Ellroy
    update status
    started on September 22, 2012
    Oryx And Crake by Margaret Atwood
    update status
    started on September 22, 2012
    If you could have dinner with one person living or dead who would it be?

    Either Rene Redzepi (runs the supposed best restaurant in the world) or Moses, see what it was like surviving ten plagues.

    If you could go back in time to one day in your life which day would it be and why?

    Probably my best birthday ever, the one with the pinata, and I would break it open this time and not let everyone else have a turn because it was my birthday dammit and I should have broken it open and then used the bat to beat away the children from my birthday pinata candy, because I'm incredibly selfish, that's why.

    Long or Short hair? 

    Long in the winter, short in the summer, I look awesome with short hair, but I have drawers full of hair stuff and I love putting my hair up.

    Favorite cartoon as a kid?

    This one creeped me out, but it was like a car accident, I just couldn't look away.
     Zoobilee Zoo tv show photo
    But I guess favorite cartoons would be the ones where Bugs Bunny dressed up as a girl

    Morning or night person? 

    Night person for sure.

    If your life was a movie what would it be a comedy, drama, horror? 

    I'm happy to say there's nothing that horrifying or especially dramatic in my life right now so I'm leaning towards mockumentary, and as soon as I start work, hopefully it'll be like The Office.

    If you found yourself pregnant at this moment would you want a boy or girl?

    I hope that it wouldn't be any generic sex but be the new generation of mutants that X-Men has promised us will happen sometime soon. So boy or girl, it just has to fly and have scales and mimic any voice so I can have celebrity voice mail messages.

    Hit shuffle on your iPod or if you don't own one turn on the radio and name the first song that plays?

    Missy Elliot: Pump It Up

    And then I tried it seven more times and got : Cake, Foo Fighters, Monica, The Postal Service, Eminem, Foreigner and Soundgarden.

    If you were a singer and had to pick a duet partner who would it be and why?

     Either La Roux because I can totally get 5 stars on Expert when I sing Bulletproof on Rock Band so everyone would think I'm just that good, or Eminem and I would spit some slick rhymes like only two white people can.
    += what I could sound like.

    name the last movie you watched be it on TV or in the theater? Hustle and Flow

    And then I hit shuffle five more times: 

    Stevie Wonder, Yelawolf, Soundgarden, Coldplay, Pearl Jam

    job hunt

    So I turned down my first job offer. This was how I felt when I got offered a job...

    awesome, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be, I won't spend months looking for a job and being broke and getting more and more hopeless as the weeks drag on

    And this was how I felt when I turned it down...

    There will be other chances and better paying/better locations/better jobs, I'm worth more than what they're offering and I can hold out until a better opportunity comes along. And I don't want to start my commute at 4AM.

    And this is how I feel now.

    Someone has to call back sometime. I mean I couldn't have turned down the only job offer in the state? Could I?

    And that's about it.

    But I'm still hopeful.

    I accepted my second job offer. So I guess it isn't all that bad.

    Tuesday, September 11, 2012

    Haiku Monday Winner

    Holy crap that was awesome! I really hope I win again one of these days because getting haiku's all over me was certainly the highlight of my week! 
    Thank you all for sharing a little about yourselves and getting creative all over the place. While I tried to comment on everyone's haiku either here or at your personal blogs let me say a little something about the haiku's that stood out to me:

    Rafael-  I'm totally stealing your lines for my next trivia team name because they're awesome. Although I prefer my Margarita's blended I love the different ways you can read the last line of your third haiku. Go team 'quickly spent wad!'

    grins- both of yours really made me smile, and then I thought about it, and then I smiled some more.

    Karl- You really hit the spot with summer ale and for making me use my dictionary.

    Fleurdeleo- I love how it starts the night after work on such a high note and ends probably at last call in a puddle of tears and red wine stains.

    fishy- I could almost feel the aroma therapy foam up my nose. 

    Taking in to account the advice and opinions of dad and my literary friend and my fiancee, I finally picked out the one haiku that I adore not only for the picture in my mind but for the carefully crafted assault of the senses, I can almost see/smell/hear your haiku come to life.

    The person who sent me the most  money captured the hearts of myself and my team of haiku readers is becca! Thank you and congrats! Now your group can get back to normal and thanks to all who played!

    Wednesday, September 5, 2012

    oh, snap ya'll I just won!

    Guess what, I won a Haiku Monday! From this dude's blog! What a surprise (or total accident). I need a freaking trophy. One that would look like this: 

    As I left the last of my talent on squeezing out one awesome haiku (as deemed by others) and few crap ones (as deemed by me, because who wants to hear about chicken feet) I shall suck down some inspiration celebrate with a much needed Margarita. As the chosen one, it falls to me to chose the next topic and judge for the upcoming week. What a responsibility...
    Holy cocktail onion Batman! I just thought of a theme for next week. 

    Happy Hour ya'll! Anyone with a  libation/relaxation/free cover charge/cocktail related haiku will be welcome. So I hear the rules are as follows: 
    Write a haiku, leave it in the comments. 5-7-5 syllable format. Utterly awesome if you use kigo and kiru like a real badass haiku writer.
    Write as many as you'd like and choose 2 you think are great enough to capture the hearts and attention of myself (and probably my parents too). 
    Include a link to your blog with visuals if you'd like, that would please me but not necessary.
    You have until Monday 9/10 at 4 (or around there) in the afternoon Pacific time. 

    This was quite helpful for the rules and basics of haiku writing. 

    This is my first time so I might overlook things like counting syllables and all that but I'll totally do my best. Thanks again every one who gives it a try and for giving me a chance to do this. And go!

    Thursday, August 30, 2012

    Haiku Monday!


    my thoughts on Taiwanese food:

    chicken feet and butt

    stinky tofu, pig blood cake

    appetite gone.

    My thoughts on peaches

    I devour it

    suck pit dry and toss it out

    need wet wipe now.

    My thoughts on ambition

    my life needs more

    never finished until then

    what to fill up with?

    My mom on making me a tuna sandwich

    Do you want onions?

    I use sweet relish and salt

    Or do you want plain?

    Anger Management Haiku Monday

    Friday, August 17, 2012

    gets on my nerves

    An ode to all the places here with terrible service. At the moment I can only think of two. But those two will forever stand out in my mind and be the standard on which I judge all places that suck at service.

    The Diner: wonderful bacon and decent burgers, if you're hungry for real American style eggs, toast, sausage, the little thing of jelly that's never enough...then the Diner is a perfect place to go. But only go if you're feeling hungry two hours from now. The wait isn't that long, Taiwanese people usually just sit around their finished food talking (and by talking I mean tweeting with the person across the table) for about two hours. So I guess the staff is used to just ignoring tables for hours on end. 
    I guess it's a cultural thing but when I go to to a diner I would rather eat then play on my phone and have my food still hot when it's served to me. The staff there is adept at looking the other way when you try your best to look ready to order. I have found that they will respond to the taxi hail about half the time. That requires one of them to look in your direction as you're frantically waving. What you really need to do is snap your fingers, then at least they have no excuse because you're obviously trying to get attention by both sight and sound. Of course there is the dropping my empty water glass on the floor method which is the surest way to get someone to come over. At least they don't run out of food.

    OnTap: A lovely British pub with towers of draft beer and football games on tv, this place has xbox kinect and a giant connect four to play with along with darts and jenga and alright food. I did get food poisoning after eating a Ceaser salad and drinking a lot of beer there one time but other than that...good burgers and nice music. But again, don't expect a drink anytime soon, best to arrive already double-fisting two beers from 7-11 while you wait for their staff to notice you (they even have a foreigner working there so you KNOW she's not afraid to practice her English). In fact it was that same employee who chased us outside and asked if we paid our bill. We totally cancelled our order before the drinks were poured, it was wasn't until we asked to cancel it did the bartender actually start to pour them and the waitress rushed to put the order in and print our tab. And then we got a reluctant ok to go from our waitress while miss too busy talking to her friends to take our order in the first place runs out after us. Of course I won't be going back there anytime soon, at least until I dye my hair another color and lose 30 lbs and reconstruct my nose. 

    I understand why they don't tip here. 

    Monday, July 16, 2012

    He's got the right idea

    play basketball, swim, watch tv, eat ice cream, sit under the AC, draw pictures and...
    Yup, that's right! Who wears clothes at home anyways? It's summer!
     And that's not how you spell teakettle.

    Friday, July 13, 2012

    no, you can't have my shoes

    You can't even borrow my shoes. I am getting to be a mean old lady. And I'm not even that old or a lady. But I have no patience when it comes to Filipino shenanigans or come on's. When I go to the beach, I want a tan. And to pee in the water. And drink fruity beer and let it all hang out. But mostly tan and pee. So don't ask me to lend you my shoes because you were a dumb ass and forgot to being your own flip flops to the beach and are on some tour group outing and think you're the awesomest gift to lady kind because you style your hair and have fake Raybans.

    After so many fruity beers your charms aren't so charming and your broken English is annoying and although your Chinese is clearly, you can't borrow my ridiculously small sized flip flops to swim in the water because you didn't bring yours and have normal fake shoes from some night market in Taipei.
    But thanks for asking.

    Better luck next time.

    Like when you worked your way over to the ladies sitting a few feet in front of us and talked them into letting you use some shoes while you tip toed around the water and left to get something to drink from 7-11. I'm sure Miss Second Choice Bigfoot got her shoes back eventually. I had a lovely time at the beach by the way.
    Except for the jelly fish (or other stinging animal) that left horrible welts all over my legs. The next time I get myself in the ocean I will pee twice as much as a slap in the face to all the things that bite/sting/burn/touch me in the water.

    Monday, July 9, 2012

    things I won't miss about Taiwan2

    3. things that bite me, especially things I can't see in the ocean. I think I'll go to the clinic tomorrow and figure this thing out.

    4. No concept of personal space. Or privacy. At all.

    That's my friend's head in the corner and those are the dudes who invaded our space.

    this was how empty the rest of the beach was.

    Wednesday, July 4, 2012

    things i will not miss about taiwan

    1. Lady purses on dudes. Not man purses, but seriously your mom's old purse on some 19 year old guy. If dudes are doing this back in the states...I'll still point and laugh just like I do here but only as long his purse isn't big enough to carry a gun.

    2. Families in matching clothes. Like kindergarten kids, mom and dad wearing the same thing. If your clothes match your kids' If you can't recognize your wife and kid in a crowd so you have to look down at what you're wearing and then find them...I can't even finish that sentence.

    Saturday, June 23, 2012

    that was also horrifying

    Today at CKS while at the awesome Dali exhibition I saw this old dude with really really long nose hairs. Coming out of his nose. He was just as tall as I, so I got an eyeful. Of nostril hair. White and gray nostril hair.  Nasty.

    Oh, and Chi found an old spice bottle of parsley with bugs in it. Little beetle looking bugs crawling around and we almost ate some. I sprayed Raid inside for like 15 secs. It was satisfying but sickening at the same time.
    I don't even want to draw a picture of an old dude with nose hair.

    This has not been a great weekend. At least not for great wonderful things, but I suppose it's been good for horrible things. What a horrible weekend.

    Friday, June 22, 2012

    that was horrifying

    one of the worst things I've seen today was an octopus, a little one, being fried on a grill. Did you know their tentacles curl up  and  catch onto the bars. And their heads bubble as the juice inside boils out. And then they curl up like flowers. Like space alien flowers. It was not cool.

    Thursday, June 21, 2012

    it really works kinda

    i really love Burt's bees herbal insect repellent. the biggest deterrent i have from spending hours at the park reading are the myriad of insect life that bite me. anything from horse fly's to these little tiny black dots that bite and look like grains of black pepper. Those suckers hurt! That's why I like Burt's Bee's. Almost.
    the great thing is that its oily, like made from four different kinds of oil. So I end up looking like I'm slathering on tanning oil and get a nice shade darker if stay out there long enough.

    I almost like its insect repelling powers except for that it only lasts for five mins and about 4 cm. I lie there watching five or ten flying blood sucking insects from hell ready to pounce as soon as the sting of rosemary and lemongrass oil dissipates.  I love summer.

    Sunday, June 17, 2012


    I'm coming back home! So I have years of stuff to pack and ship home. But what to take? This is me trying to decide what to pack...

    this what ends up happening all the time I try and solve this problem:

    Emptying old drawers that I had forgotten were full, finding lost art supplies and sketch books! Or this happens:

    What should go home? clothes that I might fit into later if I can't afford to feed myself when I get back? Bottles of lotion that smell kinda funky now? old shoes? art supplies? hair ties? old makeup? books? birthday cards, pay stubs, tax papers, sheets, towels, pillow cases, costco sized bottles of meds? I don't know.


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