Thursday, July 21, 2011

i had to promise

So, the question was
1. Which do you ignore the most?
a. your homework                     b. the tv                          c. your parents

and most of the students picked a, of course. And then little Elaine timidly raises her hand, and asked "You're not going to tell my parents are you? Don't tell my parents..." and tells the whole class she ignores her folks the most.
Of course anyone with a cellphone in the class threatens to call her mom and I can't help being highly amused.
I'll just gloss over the fact that the majority of the class just admitted to basically faking it on all their homework and writing it a few mins before class.
Oh well. At least they told it to me in English.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

the biggest snail i ever saw...i swear I'll update this post later

i saw the biggest snail i have ever seen in my life and of course i didn't have my camera. I was walking to the supermarket during class to buy some of my students ice cream that I had forgotten I promised them months ago. Of course they remembered so while they were enjoying movie day I snuck off across the street to find cheap ice cream. In the rain.
And the rain in Taipei brings out all kinds of life I never see on the sunny humid want to die in a puddle of your own sweat kind of days.
first there are the mosquito that congregate outside my front door in the stairwell of my apartment. By the time I finish with my electric racquet there's a pungent electrified bug smell wafting down four flights of stairs.

then there are the snails. I've seen some slugs in Washington, I've even stepped on a few to my ultimate horror. Think banana peel .... Although the worst thing I've ever stepped in would by own shoe...squirming inside with live maggot things that had crawled in during the night. How was I supposed to know there was a practical reason the local aboriginal people of some mountain town all wore flip flops and fake Crocs and that my sneakers were fair game for egg laying insects everywhere. They had just slaughtered a goat the night before, maybe I should have taken my shoes inside.
Anyways WA slugs have nothing on Taiwanese snails. First off, its a freaking snail, there's no way you're accidentally stepping on one of those suckers without noticing right away.

I've had too many beers to draw something adequately squishy and monstrously sized not to mention show maggots and singed mosquito death but I will leave everyone with this odd picture and I promise I'll revisit this snail thing when I feel more steady handed...

chicken from the supermarket, with head and feet

Monday, July 11, 2011

no flash photography?

I don't understand a lot of things. Here's one of them: the zoo. 

It is an awesome and arduous place where you can take a pleasant stroll in scorching weather and take refuge in the air conditioned nocturnal animals house...

eat disgusting junk food flavored with the natural aroma of hundreds of animals pooping...

and of course see a plethora of animals in lovely man made habits mimicking the natural environments they once called home...

Now with all of these things we can enjoy at the zoo, why would they restrict the most basic of 21century social networking right, the right to take a pretty picture with flash?

I mean, Chi's hamster has spent most of its life in front of lights of some kind, and its just fine. 

How would a little flash kill a panda that's just sleeping anyways?

I'm mystified as usual.


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