Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Dad mentioned to both my and my sister's boyfriends at the time his fabulous business idea, Youth-enasia. It goes a little something like this:
  • Your old and decrepit dog is ready for that shiny cold pinch of death from the vet
  • You want to spare your child the agony of losing a pet but you can’t bring your sorry self to lie to them

A little later my sister’s boyfriend became her husband, he does have access to a few large SUV’s that might get the startup job done.
Our dog (RIP) died not too long ago…I’m still waiting for the Youth-anasia team to come and drop him off, good as new and ten years younger.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dad really says these things…

He doesn’t really look like Carl but we like to think he does

  • dad suggested today that proper nasal douching will decrease my stuffed/runny nose problems in any country.

He actually said sticking my head in salt water and inhaling, but not too much. Then decided that would be a bad idea and could easily go wrong. So I should just stick with squeezing a few sprays in each nostril like five times a day. To clear out anything that could possibly be up there. I added the douching part. He didn’t like that.

  • This conversation ended when mom brought for some reason how he wants to be disposed of when he dies; rolled out on the curb for the trash to come collect.

He neglects to think how straining emotionally, criminally, and physically this will be for his family. But who can ignore dying wishes?

  • I had a friend come over and ask if they may use the restroom, and dad answered ‘no, but there are bushes out in the back.”

He claims to not remember this one and then will only admit he was making a joke. I’m not so dense as to think he really wanted my friend to go outside and do their business, it was obviously a joke. I thought it was funny, why not just admit it?

  • Mom also said something, but I can’t remember what it was.

I’m sure she wanted to be quoted as saying something intelligent t and cool and sassy and such, but I can’t remember what she said.

ps: I’m purposely not making any drawings for this. To find any joy you’re just going to have to read. And use your imagination. Because I really can’t come up with anything.

Ideas would be welcome…

Sunday, October 24, 2010

its my birfday…

It took this long, but finally someone came through.  I hate horses and wish them ill most times, but I figured if other people have one why not me?



All I ask for every year for my birthday is a pony.I just want a little fat pony that I can play with and braid its mane. We’d do fun stuff together and every year I’d get  a new one because I imagine I’d still ask for one out of habit.

Well I finally got most of my wish! Although it will never take me to get the mail and go to school and eat all the food I don’t like and provide free compost for all of its life. I did get my own little pony.


Thank you Keela for rocking most awesomely!

Please stop scaring me chuck!

So apart from shopping all over the place and feeling very fashionable, due to my ride having to go to the birthday of a niece I ended my night at that magical black hole called Chuck E Cheese's.

that place has both delighted and scared the crap out of me ever since I was a kid. 

I was one of those kids too scared to jump up on stage and rock out with those mechanical contraptions that would spring to life when you least expected it.
One thing I was terribly disappointed in was the lack of a ball pit. That was the fun part; diving down, finding loose change and old socks. Random ball fights around the whole arcade. 
I don't know how we didn't get multiple diseases or how one would even clean a pit full of plastic spit covered balls or those hamster tubes that kids ran around in that finally ended in a pee covered slide. 
I'm not kidding, I watched a little boy pee down the slide before sliding down himself into the arms of his waiting mom. She scooped him up and whisked him away before being made to clean up after her demon child. I was stuck. Forever. For what seemed like forever.
I really don’t have much more to say, the food was mediocre, the lost children didn’t realize they were lost, and everyone looked sick and tired of the place as soon as they walked in.
I don’t even want to try and make that funny. 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

sephora people....

I really don't have much else to say....other than I spent way way wayyy too much on makeup that I will never end up using because I use makeup maybe twice a month...those people at sephora just don't know when to stop...
but I did have an amazing time with my sister which hasn't happened in longer than I can remember...Daniel's Broiler for happy hour was the right way to end the day. Sadly we weren't the only lovely youngish things in there who thought so. Unfortuneatly for them we got to the piano table in the bar first and couldn't possibly be bothered to put our multiple shopping bags on the floor because, come on. It's the floor. So Miss redhead and Miss salt n' pepper were forced to squeeze in to the hump with their red wine and steak skewers.

Mwhahaha. (Dr Evil laugh)
she didn't actually spill her drink but we did take up most of the piano top where happy hour was happily taking place all around us. I guess we weren't the only ones who needed a 'ladies night Thursday outing'

Monday, October 11, 2010

i did it

I made it. no customs line too long, no aisle too cramped, nothing could stop me from coming home. I listed my place of residence as USA (mistakenly) but if you asked me where home is, without pause or thought to what customs declaration actually considers where I reside it would be right here. Pacific time zone, rainy, drizzly, lovely moss covered WA. Only my allergies have started up, I can't breath out of my left nostril and my throat is killing me with all this dry cold air.

but my offical place of residence  did cause some confusion and what must have looked like I'm hiding some massive bomb in my pocket because the nice popo at customs asked me how long I'd been in Taiwan and that being there for three years counts as living there, and asked me what i did for a living, and when i was getting married....and all kinds of other questions that I stumbled over and started sweating and switching stories and then ended up telling him all about how boyfriend's parents came to Seattle from Taiwan...

I'm not joking, that's was actually one of the first things he asked, after asking who I was traveling with, how long we'd been together, and do I have any plans of tying the knot soon...

So after that mortifying line of questioning, he got down to how long I'm planning on staying, do i have any food and how much cash I'm carrying. 

Coming from a country where cash is the local currency...and credit is almost non existent (I get paid in cash, most places only take cash, and there are just now starting to be things like debit cards) I had a whole $2000 on me. Only thats about $30 US. So when I told him I had two grand, he was doing the math in his head and coming out with insane sums of money. I corrected him and explained it was Taiwan money not US, almost had to take out the wallet and show him from the look he gave me. Do I really look like I travel around with thousands of dollars in cash on me? 

but now I'm home.

Monday, October 4, 2010

toys and torture of my youth pt 3

Holy Sardines, its Popples. If you were alive in the 80's here's one of the cartoons/toys that you've probably drowned out of your memory with the sounds of  Pop Rocks and snap bracelets and New Kids on the block.
But before pubescence there were bouncing unidentified dog,cat,bear, kangaroo, lion, meerkat...thing.

The one thing I remember about my rocker popple that made me cry on a regular basis was how hard it was to stuff inside its Quasimodo back hump pouch foreskin thing.


How I feel about going home!

How I will feel about leaving home: 

Sunday, October 3, 2010

things i'd rather be doing than packing

1. I'd much rather be playing the newest bestest update expansion pack to the latest video games that I'm currently just about sick of playing.

2. I'd rather eat the leftover from the fridge (which will have to be thrown out anyways, be it today, or three weeks from now after I get back from vacation).

3. I'd rather be making helpful to do lists, creating a crafty plan of attack on my sock drawer and other trouble packing areas.

4 I would really really rather find some projectile object to launch at the neighborhood alley cats who's have started their screaming matches all hours of the night. The acoustics in that alley are amazing, I'm five flights up and they still sound crisp and agonizing.

5. I'd rather be getting a massage from the Thai massage place down the street. My neck hurts from sticking it out the window and screaming back at local cats to shut up.

I'd rather be making funny terrible photoshop pictures for this but I'm packing now.


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