Dad really says these things…

He doesn’t really look like Carl but we like to think he does

• dad suggested today that proper nasal douching will decrease my stuffed/runny nose problems in any country.

He actually said sticking my head in salt water and inhaling, but not too much. Then decided that would be a bad idea and could easily go wrong. So I should just stick with squeezing a few sprays in each nostril like five times a day. To clear out anything that could possibly be up there. I added the douching part. He didn’t like that.

• This conversation ended when mom brought for some reason how he wants to be disposed of when he dies; rolled out on the curb for the trash to come collect.

He neglects to think how straining emotionally, criminally, and physically this will be for his family. But who can ignore dying wishes?

• I had a friend come over and ask if they may use the restroom, and dad answered ‘no, but there are bushes out in the back.”

He claims to not remember this one and then will only admit he was making a joke. I’m not so dense as to think he really wanted my friend to go outside and do their business, it was obviously a joke. I thought it was funny, why not just admit it?

• Mom also said something, but I can’t remember what it was.

I’m sure she wanted to be quoted as saying something intelligent t and cool and sassy and such, but I can’t remember what she said.

ps: I’m purposely not making any drawings for this. To find any joy you’re just going to have to read. And use your imagination. Because I really can’t come up with anything.

Ideas would be welcome…