Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Phase 3 nip, tuck and suck it in

I call this next part Just Plain old degrading

sure they have dozens of dresses from stuff your grandma would wear to stuff no one would wear. All colors and amount of frills, lace, flowers, and beads. What you don't see at first, not until you try it on is all the pit stains, ripped hems, makeup stains, and oddly positioned sewn in bra cups and of course the whole difference between you and the rest of the Taiwanese female population.

celery stalk large
I'm really not kidding...I'm not being mean and most people can't help it...but seriously I'm not kidding


 These dresses are not made for anyone with a bust, hips or ass. What give these stick like creatures the lovely shape they crave in their pictures are the layers of tulle that puff out and look like hips, the bodice that is deliberately cut high up and straps shortened to give the illusion through the help of padding that you have chest. For me that means I have boob cups sitting on top of my boobs and massive hips.

instead of this..
Ok, maybe more like this...

it ends up looking more like this.

So I finally found my four dresses, the colors I liked and the cut that while not totally flattering does highlight assets. And if I hold the train just-so then it'll look great from the neck up. Just remember there are tons of different poses that will hide/highlight whatever needs to be, and there's always photoshop!

It's so cheesy but I love this dress, too bad its satin...:(

So I'll work with it, if I wanted designer dresses made in the last five years then I would have had to pay double, for what we're paying it'll do. There's a wedding dress too that looks alright, but I totally forget what it looks like. I guess I'll find out when I get there and remember.

Phase 4: Lights, camera, strike a pose.

1 comment:

  1. You know what's ironic...Markie, who was my other bridesmaid for my wedding ended up getting her wedding dress from some Asian person on ebay...and if fit her perfectly. Its amazing that the place that creates the fun outfits for people over here (the non stick people) doesn't have anything for you over there. Maybe you could look on ebay for something...at least the shipping would be cheap :)


So...what did you think?


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