Vacation time brother!

ok, countdown to Thailand! Have I mentioned before that I love airports? Those hello kitty gates, the luggage, the noise the people and the bathrooms. The Narita airport has octopus burgers at McDonalds and toilets with a dozen buttons on them. Even the airport in Georgia has self wrapping toilets and the largest spiders I've ever seen crawling around the floor. 


I can't say I remember much about the last time I was in Thailand about the Phuket airport. I'll pay closer attention this time. I do remember a wide assortment of prostitution books and lady boy stories at the book store. 
I'll be on the lookout for ladyboys and cool toilets. 


And then it will be the beach. And it will be as perfect as I imagine it. It'll be just like this...

despite the weather supposed to be like this

whatever, I'll still be doing this...

happy chinese new year me!

its christmas, so what?

The weather is barely cold enough to warrant a jacket let alone a sweatshirt.

My students are asking me the meaning behind my zombie murder implicating t shirt. I didn't mean to take off my sweater, it was just so hot in the classroom, I forgot my t shirt had blood and zombie guts on it. It's not a winterwonderland so its not christams.

although it is the season for 'writing tipsy emails and updates that sound oh so great when i write them but regretably crap when i read them the day after' so I guess that's as Christmas as its going to get.

on that note, I'm going to talk about my toilet.

I have found this absolutely divine toilet smell good thingy that I want to take with me every where I go and apply as needed.

Jelly star squeezed out of of plastic 'decorate cakes' type of thing and applied with the utmost of care onto the bowl of my toilet equals holiday joy for me.
That mysterious brown nub sneaking out under the rim of my toilet is an unidentified hanging object that has been tentatively dubbed 'petrified lizard skin' by Chi when asked "what the hell is that thing?"

geckos have been known to zip in and out of my apartment and leave tails and toes behind after capture and release out of the window (which is five stories up ...RIP geckos)

so lizard skin isn't out of the question although more likely is some scummy foamy thing that was in the toilet when it was installed and never bothered to be removed thus relieving me of all blame and to my credit discovering said nastiness and making somewhat art out of it.

you are reading this after all. Thats makes it art and not toilet scum.

Oh, I just can't help myself, I'll probably regret it later, but...

Happy holidays to all and to all a good refreshing after flush scent.

Oh yeah, you bet I did...

I thought this one deserved a thing all of its own. That is a toilet in Japan. That armrest thing on the side is all kids of fun flushing/cleaning/sound barrier creating goodness that (while the plane was boarding) I had to play with. 

Not only can you adjust pressure and volume, for those sushi loaded times of the day you can press the 'powerful deodorizer' 
I did push it, and was disappointed that some fan just came on from somewhere in the bowl. I guess i was expecting more of a incense infusion to be released from above me. 


In all I was dissapointed. The fart muffling flushing sound was obviously prerecorded and everyone would know exactly what was going on when you push it. I couldn't figure out how to easily stop it so i had to just turn down the volume really low. 


The seat didn't have time to probably warm up and neither did the water. Making it a rather chilly spray. I will say this, that toilet's aim is dead on...and that's all I'll say.


I still have never used a bidet and i didn't want my first one to be in a Japanese airport. I still don't know how those things work and seems like I'd waste more tp drying off than would be used normally. With all the paper we're saving using computers and kindles and email and ipads I'm sure there's plenty of paper to go around.