its a viscious cycle

my purple haze of pollen

I generate so much trash, esp this time of year. Its a cycle, and it goes something like this:

step one: My old flowers die and loved them so much so I skip on over to the flower market and enjoy cheap orchids, yellow puff balls and lilies. 

step two: I set them up in the place most likely to be enjoyed by me, the tv room and my bedroom. They bloom, they smell great and I soak up all the uv rays from the special light I have for orchids.

step three: I soak up so much that pollen makes my sinuses go crazy. I think my record is nine sneezes in two mins.

step four: I suffer, in snotty misery for about a week. Enjoying my flowers all the time and my own box of tissue as my sidekick. A few boxes later I take anti histamines and of course those things are a pain to open. All those child proof foil sterile things that cause me such confusion. A few benedylls later I zone out for hours watching flowers wilt.

repeat steps one through four for a  few months.

Look what I found on the side of the street!

its actually a fake owl, its post says "La New" which is a brand of shoe here in Taiwan.

what housewives blog about

I'm amazed at how categorized blogger is. I get bored and insanely curious what other people blog about because I'm sure there has to be something other than complaining so I scroll through a few random blogs and I get 10 blogs in a row written by housewives with two kids who are 'living frugally' and collecting their own eggs from some back woods farm in Ohio, Texas, Oregon, Idaho, Kansas and all those other places with chickens and eggs.

It seems besides blogging, these mommies are devout stamp/greeting card/scrapbooking experts and who's latest pictures of fringed and embossed samples come second only to the latest  video of their child's struggle to master the English language and the first day of school.

I've learned so much about the different state fairs, carnival rides, back to school shopping sales, eggs.

And not just chicken eggs. There are so many apps out there for the measuring of your egg (ladies)  during its journey into fetus-hood and the exact age to the second your child is. Gross.

Between noon and 3 here I get Malaysian blogs, and Christian missionaries and such things.


But just as my family and two other people who read this blog and want to know what happens in my day and how my eggs are doing and my current belly measurements, who am I to judge.

I guess way to go computer literate housewives who squeeze in time to sew and knit and emboss things and then sell them online.

My mom should do that. She could totally write about these things:

Here are just a few of the weird blogs i wonder why people bother writing inspirations I stumbled on:

http://angrypregnantlawyer.blogspot.com

http://thecollinscrew.blogspot.com

http://papasian.blogspot.com


http://lumpyhead.blogspot.com


http://radarlove08.blogspot.com

http://pooleyaticus.blogspot.com

piercings

i don't remember my first ear piercing.

i do remember my second, third, and fourth.

i feel like its time for another. where is a good place to get another piercing? 

i need a non slutty place to put another piece of metal...here are some ideas:

that web of skin between my thumb and finger
eyelid
armpit

I'm open to other suggestions.

stark raving...a la Mr. Sheen

After Mr. Sheen did this radio interview ,

I did this: charlie sheen mad lib and I came up with this

“I am on a drug. It’s called jessica. If you try it once, you will get pins and needles. Your eyeballs will melt off, and your uncle, aunt, third cousin will vomit over your drop kicked midget body … I’m tired of pretending like I’m not appropriate—a total freaking time traveler from earth. I’ve got manbearpig blood, apollo 13 DNA! … They picked a fight with a batman. They’re trying to take all my time traveling DeLoreans and leave me with no means to take a bus to my family. It’s not scientology! They owe me an apology while petting my right knee … I don’t think people are ready for the joystick I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of necromanic love. I exposed steaks to magic! Here’s your blood test. Next one goes in your eye!”

i really don't get crafts

UPDATED:  I HAVE THE FINAL RESULTS, and you'll have to scroll all the way down....

i'm subbing a kindergarten class for a coworker. we have to do daily crafty kind of projects so they can bring something back to their parents in an effort to feel like they are actually accomplishing something instead of acknowledging its over priced day care. 


anyways i attempted a rather ambitious craft. It was sound in theory and i foresaw no possible problems.


i guess that was my first mistake. 


ok here's how it goes...




1. blow up a balloon
2. put some flour in water
3. put some yarn in the flour and wrap around the balloon
4. put it somewhere for a few days until dry
5. pop balloon, color a paper bird and shove it in
6. presto, you have a bird cage with a bird inside. 

here's how it actually happened: 

1. balloon blowing fail. had to use the machine which was awesome.

2. recipe called for 1/4 cup flour, and 1 cup water. or maybe it was the other way around. 
anyways this country doesn't use 'cups' it uses ml. and they don't use flour. but i figure rice flour is the same thing. 


3. flour soaked yarn does not stick to balloons but drips off and causes flour covered  damage in all directions. 

4. and so far this is the end result. they haven't dried yet but nothing suggests that it will be structurally sound enough to keep it shape and allow for paper bird insertion. 

after drying i'll update with the success or failure or the project. wish me luck.

Happy Chinese New Year...

Ideas for spending Chinese New Year money from Mrs. Lin...

Oh yeah, I know exactly what I'm going to do...

i need a new hobby

my hobbies now include:


tormenting the baby hamster
eating sees candies slowly, to make them last
watching reruns
counting calories to see how much I go over my 'goal'

 oh yeah, and I dyed my hair....

so that's all I've been up to. 


I'll post later as to why I haven't been reading anything. Its a sad story with a happy ending.

2011

a few near years resolutions that i will strongly think about keeping for the next month or so...now they are documented online and I can't escape them. But I'll certainly try.


1. have A glass of wine with dinner once a week

thats a big glass

2. wear sunscreen everyday

3. get through a book a week

audio books count too

4. watch more old movies

5. start practicing Chinese again

6. blog more often, like try and do one a week.

7. write some letters. snail mail is nice to get sometimes

8. update resume...